Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
