yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
