I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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