I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
