What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize