I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
