Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
