Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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