all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
