handjob tips. give me some.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize