I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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