So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
