Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
