its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
