Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
