can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
