the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think your dad took our porno
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
