you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
