You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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