Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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