Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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