Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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