you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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