I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize