i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
