Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
