you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize