Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
nutella sex= disaster
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
