Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
