Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
