i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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