the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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