He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
