I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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