Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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