you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
