party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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