My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
