i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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