Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
