I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
