Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
