I swear she didn't look like that last week.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
