she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
