he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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