I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
