yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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