My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
