Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
