i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
