her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
