Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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