Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
