I don't usually arrange sex via text message
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
