vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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