ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
