he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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