He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
