fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
