happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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