He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
