think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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