Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
