i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
