I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
