it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
