I need help removing her.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize