walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
